The most Accepting and Accommodating country in the world - India

In yet another aspect where Indians score over the world must be the accepting and accommodating nature of Indians. Not only do we value everything we have, but we also tout it to the world outside as a ‘unique Indian aspect’ found nowhere else but in India.

It is perfectly acceptable to have foreign MNCs peddle sub-standard stuff to us…afterall we seem to be paying lesser than other countries..where else would you get a Rs5 chips packet or a Re 1 shampoo? Our toothpaste is chalkier, our soap less moisturizer, our ready to eat packets are slow poisons, our cosmetics are skin abrasives. But they are big brands you know. So we use them and will continue to use them. Our ‘export’ quality is the good quality stuff that we can’t buy while the stuff we buy from foreign brands is the worse quality many times the price..but who cares if we get the latest styles right? Some of my friends even get baby diapers from abroad because they are ‘softer’…but then perhaps babies abroad are more delicate right..and need diapers all day long unlike many of our cloth nappy wearing babies?

It is okay if the mangoes and all fruits are pesticide laden. After all what can we do? How can we not eat Hapoos? So we accept and life goes on. And yes, then we even have purifiers that claim to remove all pesticides and ‘harmful elements’. It is okay if cows eating plastic and garbage are milked and who knows our milk isn’t some white powder anyway. But again what to do? Change the milkman maybe?

We pay a lot of taxes yes. But you could say they are less than many countries such as the US so that is okay. What is also okay is the garbage strewn on the roads, footpaths, road dividers, and everywhere you look. So what if the road is terrible on the way to work. It is still better than what it would be after the monsoons as long as we can drive on it. So what if the footpaths have encroachments – hawkers, shops, garbage, parking spots, huts and you cannot walk on them, the roads are there for all to walk. It doesn’t matter anyway. The bikers can run you down on the footpath as well and get away with it.  Talking of roads and the brilliant infrastructure we have in the city, I mean the eastern freeway, the bandra-worli sealink (2-3 good roads in the whole city), obviously prices of Rs 2 crores for a matchbox unit are so justified anywhere in the distant municipal Mumbai limits. The rest of the connecting roads be damned.

I wonder if it is our ‘Chalta hai’ attitude that has prevailed, the fear of backlash from anyone or the lax attitude of anyone in the government office. Whatever be the reason, we learnt to compromise. We compromised, accepted, created a little noise maybe, but then went back to our peaceful routine, accepting everything like the Zen masters.  On the side, bad roads will continue killing people, our food, water and air will be the slow poison to kill us amongst the other things.  We can either put up, change brands, use more home cooked food (still pesticide ridden), get everything from abroad or flee abroad or maybe create some small movements to change things (which will die anyway)..forgive me for being so pessimistic!

However things are changing. A large organization  has been brought to its knees for the poor quality product they have sold us for years. We never believed fried squiggly dough could be healthy, but we didn't think it literally had poison either.  Abroad they would have had millions of dollars of lawsuits, but in India…chalta hai, they ll get away with it, you and I both know. As a result of this case, there are several organizations Indian and MNCs scurrying for cover with products they never should have sold to us in the first place. May such organizations that deem us unworthy of quality products remain in the covers forever. 

Kerala - The poster state of Incredible India

K of the A-Z Blogging Challenge

My first visit to Kerala was many years back when I was visiting a food grain processing plant to inspect a ‘paddy-husk boiler’ on a paddy farm.  Back then I didn’t have a mobile with a camera or a camera during my visit to Palaghat or Pallakad as it is known, but some images that have stayed with me from that first visit include a mass of green in every frame, lush paddy fields, a verdant scenery with fields and coconut trees, a lovely natural skyline that I had never seen before in India, and the scenery that completely changed from a picturesque luscious green to an unremarkable brown and green when I crossed the state border.

Many years later when I visited this state, on a very short trip, I found that little had changed. The emerald hues were just as enchanting, and the scenery was just as idyllic unspoiled by ravages of civilization.  This state has much to offer to leisure tourists and with all there is to see and do here, it is little wonder that Kerala is the poster state for Incredible India!

What can you see here and what are the key locations? –

1. Beautiful vistas of lush green farms – peep outside the window while travelling across the state
2. Unspoiled beaches – Kovalam, Cherai, Varkala
3. Pristine Hill stations – Munnar
4. Tea-gardens - Munnar
5. Coffee plantations – Wayanad
6. Houseboats on tranquil backwaters – Alleppey, Kumarakom
7. Relaxing Ayurveda treatments, - Across the state
8. Amazing wild-life sanctuaries – Thekkady, Wayanad
9. Quaint cities – Cochin, Thiruvananthapuram, Thrissur
10. Exotic Katthakali dance – across the state
11. Exciting snake boat racing - Alleppey
12. Majestic temple festivals
13. Ancient temples – Padmanabhaswami Temple at Tiruvananthapuram, Ayyappan Temple at Sabarimala, Sree Krishna Temple at Guruvayoor

A few glimpses from my brief visit on the back waters of Alleppey –

A Houseboat

Cruising along the backwaters at Alleppey

All grace - A Katthakali Dancer

A walk in the fields

A lotus blooms!

Here comes the Mumbai Monorail

H of the A to Z Challenge

I woke up this Sunday all excited. I was after all finally going to take a ride in the first Mumbai Monorail today!  I know I speak of it as a joy ride instead of something that should be more of a commute, but well, ever since its inception, almost a lakh people were found to be taking joyrides on weekends and I was just one of them!  For a paltry Rs 11, one could take a ride all the way from Chembur to Wadala in the monorail that snaked its way from its elevated tracks offering views that ranged from the refinery, the eastern freeway, to quiet neighborhoods and unfortunately, also slum colonies. It was little wonder that people came from far and wide through Mumbai to take a ride in this much touted mode of transport.

Much has been said about the route selected for the first monorail in Mumbai – Chembur to Wadala, and how mostly useless it will be.  However, people do need to understand that this route will be extended to South Bombay to the hub of several office areas.  With enough slums all over Mumbai, there must have been only a few pockets where they could actually clear out the slums or buildings and create infrastructure for the monorail.  That being said, I agree, that the current route to Wadala may not be that useful for a lot of commuters, but at the same time, it has connected several areas of Chembur that were previously far off from any station for local trains.

I went early in the morning at around 9:00 a.m. to avoid the crowds and get a quick entry and skip those winding queues that I had previously seen  at later times snaking down the stairways spilling on to the roads.  My bags were checked, I was frisked and I could enter the swanky station onto the ticketing line.  Tickets were in the form of tokens that one needed to swipe at the entry point and save through the journey and return at exit.  I guess, all these security measures will work for now, but once the real commuter crowds swell, I doubt if this time consuming model of checking, frisking and ticketing will work if the crowds swell to the level of local train stations.

More security greeted us at the platform as they guided the passengers to stand back and safely. A delightful pink hued monorail train soon arrived and we entered it. It had pink interiors, a few seats and was air conditioned. Wide windows ensured we got a lovely view too.  Most, if not all passengers were in high spirits excited to be in the monorail as everyone scrambled to be near the windows. But on the whole, it was fairly orderly inside. 

On the whole I enjoyed it and I don’t have complaints. Only, I wonder why there aren’t any benches on the station? After all, a 15 minute frequency for a train is quite tiring!

Being a resident of a neighboring area, I also wonder why the work has been done so haphazardly at the station – There are two half-finished stairways that lead to nowhere in the middle of the road that as it is has so little area to walk on being encroached on both sides.

I think the security measures are a must, but I wonder how long they will be sustainable.  I hope though that people are civil enough and take pride in this new mode of transport and desist from disfiguring it with paan-stains, graffiti, and disfiguring the monorail infrastructure in any way even without the security.

I look forward to the second phase of the Monorail that will extend to Jacob Circle and will finally be more useful as a commute to many more people.

A few pictures from the journey –

The Monorail map

A cricketing view from the train

As I took a photo of the taxi on the eastern freeway, the person in the taxi took one of the monorail!

Imax Dome as seen from the monorail

Tokens

Station

The inevitable slum view

Finally, the monorail itself!

Swanky station

Gotta Ink that Finger

G of the AtoZ Challenge

It is that time of the year when roads are being repaired, repainted, beautified, built and passed to be built! It is that time of the year when the talk of the town is politics. It is when media starts being cautious about siding with only the ruling government.  It is when the report cards are being printed for the ruling alliance. It is the year of populist measures which may not be necessarily be good are adopted..food ‘security’ bill was passed, electricity rates were slashed, more slums were legalized…This is when politicians start giving a damn about the common man. Ladies and gentleman, it is election time!

The longest elections in the country’s history have been announced to be from April 7 to May 12 in 543 constituencies in India to elect Members of the Parliament in the Lok Sabha.  About 81.5 crore or 815 Million people of the country are eligible to vote in the elections at an expense of Rs. 3,500 crore. Parties are expected to spend Rs 30,500 crore or US $5 Billion in the elections.

Most priorities have not changed over decades and clean water, sanitation, electricity, employment, and roads continue to rule the roost in manifesto.  After being party to several huge scams running in tens of thousands of crores, curbing corruption is another promise by most parties.  Price rise, economy, security and secularism are other priorities this election.

Key alliances/parties are –

UPA – The United Progressive Alliance ruling alliance led by the Indian national Congress party is the incumbent party which was in power for the last decade.  It has largely promoted Rahul Gandhi a scion of the Gandhi family which has ruled India for the greater part of the history of independent India.  He is the youth icon and leader for Congress.  Many see him to be weak, dumb and ineffective and more so after his (in)famous interview with Arnab Goswami. It remains to be seen if he can prove his detractors wrong.

NDA – BJP is the largest party leading the National Democratic Alliance.  Narendra Modi is the face of BJP and is touted to be the leader who can bring real change based on the development he brought in Gujarat where is Chief Minister. However, the ghost of the communal riots of Godhra looms large even though the highest court in the country has acquitted him and it remains to be seen if the Muslims vote for him despite his promises of development and his success in Gujarat.

AAP – The newly formed Aam Admi party by maverick Arvind Kejriwal took the country by storm when they won the Delhi elections.  With several populist promises and a sincere image to root out corruption, AAP has become a formidable opponent to the established parties of Congress and BJP.  However, it is a new party with little experience and the question is, will voters who are disillusioned with the current stock of parties actually cast their votes for him despite its inexperience.

Additionally, there are several regional parties such as BSP, DMK, Shiv Sena, MNS, CPI etc. which have considerable presence in specific states and may or may not be allied to the key parties mentioned above. Any alliances they make with the party stalking a majority come with a wide range of terms and conditions. These alliances are sometimes formed after the polls.  This can make the government if it meets the majority with their help unstable and vulnerable as it caters to their whims and fancies.

Will the 2014 general elections change who is in that hallowed chair of power or reelect them?  I do hope everyone eligible to vote in India is responsible enough to vote and I urge the literati to be a little less cynical about how everyone is the same and just go vote to bring about a decisive majority, stability in the government and a government who will be responsible.  Remember, it is a privilege and a right to be able to choose who will rule us.

Choice for the poor, rich and the bourgeois!

C of the AtoZ challenge

There is always a choice. Sometimes there are several choices. Sometimes there are too many choices. And sometimes, despite all the choices one feels there is none!

The longest elections in the country’s history have been announced to be from April 7 to May 12 in 543 constituencies in India to elect Members of the Parliament in the Lok Sabha.  About 81.5 crore or 815 Million people of the country are eligible to vote in the elections at an expense of Rs. 3,500 crore.

The choice: The choice in a democratic country is to vote.  It is unfortunately not mandatory but a lot is at stake – the governance we get, the progress India makes all depends on that all important Vote. Make the choice to vote.

Several choices: With a multi-party system there are several choices on who to vote for with easy choices being either the BJP or the Congress or their allies

Too many choices:  If you consider the independent candidates, regional parties, major parties, to make the right choice, you will have to examine a long list to find out who you want to elect! There were about 14 candidates per seat* (National average) in the last election and numbers are likely to go up.

Many choices but no choice – After all the research you may find most candidates are barely literate, are criminal, have a history of being corrupt or are incompetent rendering all the choices useless.

This election, take the pledge to vote. Shed the cynicism and vote for the party which has an ideology that appeals to you and whose leadership and vision you think will make a difference. Your next government could very well be because of the choice you make.

*source TOI

It's a sellers market for Mumbai builders

I have been following several reports on Mumbai real-estate being in the hunt of a house.  Most reports I have been reading are positive that there is going to be a correction this year, and the real-estate bubble in all major cities in India including Mumbai is definitely going to burst.   Unfortunately for the poor buyer, reality usually is bleak.

Here is why I think Mumbai is a terrible place to buy a house.

• The number one is of course the highly extortive rates charged in Mumbai. It was hilarious to see a reputed builder come out with a new housing scheme for affordable housing. Well, the affordable house was at Rs 95L+taxes for a 1bhk  and around Rs 1.4Crores in the suburb of Chembur. Since when indeed did figures of Rs 1Crore become so affordable for all!?  So called ‘luxury’ housing by the same builder started at more than Rs 3 Crores for a 2 BHK (about 1000sq ft) in a farther off suburb. Really wouldn’t you rather shell out Rs 50,000 per month  for the next 10 years (60L) for a similar house and still make more money on interest in a fixed deposit?! (2L per month @8% simple interest). 
  Despite the sops offered by various builders in the form of 20:80 schemes (Schemes where one pays 20% now and 80% after a certain level of construction is complete), free cars and motor bikes, slashed rates, the market appears to be still bleak to the buyer.  Lower rates of interests can make sense only if the capital cost were lower making EMIs affordable.

• The already inflated rates, cannot seem attractive however many sops are offered. Far flung suburbs with no less than 2 hours of commute from the city at present, try and entice buyers with the promise of new infrastructure projects which are likely to get completed soon (they mean the ones, which have been barely mentioned by MMRDA, and not even the approvals processes are complete). 

• If you are unmindful of the commute, just look around the city of Mumbai. Broken roads and pavements, garbage dumps galore, slums right outside the building, illegal encroachments, improper entry roads to buildings, and a complete lack of parking and horrible traffic wherever you go. For this kind of pathetic infrastructure, the city of Mumbai is rather too pricey than any other in the world. 

• After the recent building collapse in the Mumbra region, municipal corporations have gone on a rampage bringing down other illegal buildings.  Where were they when these came up in the first place? My heart goes out to the people who were living in these buildings and have now been rendered homeless because the crafty builder built an illegal building. No less than 35 permits and approvals need to be taken at various levels to build a building. Various inspection approvals also need to be given while the building is being constructed. Several certificates, such as the Occupation certificate are given by the municipal corporation after the building is complete, and the society is formed.  The problem here is, most houses are sold, at the time they get approval to just build it (commencement certificate). How discerning then, during the ‘launch’ of the building, can a buyer indeed get?  If that be the case, no builder should be allowed to sell under construction flats.  What it really takes, is that the inspections really happen instead of being on paper, and the approvals are honestly given so that the builder builds a good quality building within all the required norms.  How can a buyer be evicted from a building where he has trustingly put in his hard earned money believing the builder has flouted no norms?

• There is another component that makes it further unpalatable for the salaried buyer that no one speaks about. It is the component of ‘black’ money that needs to be shelled out to buy a house. The ‘going rate’ in Mumbai as I understand it currently is a whopping 40-50% of cash.  This is just so that the buyer/seller evades tax or can channel the enormous cash funds that the either the corrupt or the businessmen community gathers. In earlier years, when property rates were much lower, the component of black would run into lakhs in single digits, but now with rates being a minimum of 10K per square feet in Mumbai in suburbs, no less than 30-40L has to be doled out in cash for a tiny 1-2 BHK. For a poor salaried worker, who gets money into his bank account, pays taxes dutifully (as they are deducted at source unfortunately), declares his income to the last penny, how on earth really, can he get this cash? ‘Jugaad’ as they say ‘ho jaaata hai’, spewing another level of transactions which should not be happening.   I haven’t even started talking about the difficulty in trustingly and willingly giving away lakhs of hard earned money in cash to some stranger! This makes it further impossible to zero in on that dream home that can be bought in full ‘white’ money without any law-breaking

• As a buyer, even as I understand there is a lack of affordable housing in the city, I do get irked that the shanties across the building get free houses in the same vicinity while buyers shell out crores of Rupees for them.  And of course, they continue to live in the shanties after renting them/selling them out to new dwellers. Even as slum rehabilitation projects come up, more and more shanties continue to proliferate.  And most of them continue to be progressively legalized when elections are around. They require no permissions to get legalized really. 

Forgive me for making the clichéd comment, but the system truly needs to be completely overhauled from the root, uprooting the builder-politician-municipal corporation nexus, and a political will to bring the housing issue under some form of control.  A few things that I think need radical change are –

• Reduce the number of permissions builders need to take that increase costs in the form of bribes to be doled out and ensure that buildings are really inspected and anomalies reported. Bring about transparency in dealings.
• 50% of Mumbai is landlocked in slums. Encourage slum rehab projects by easing regulations to help to release this space. And please stop any further illegal encroachment of scarce land!
• Increase FSI so cities can grow vertically and there is more space
• Reduce taxes such as stamp duty which further push up costs and encourage cash transaction deals. If prices stop going up, profiteering will reduce – speculative buying by investors will reduce and tax on income made will automatically reduce discouraging fraudulent dealings.
• Find ways to curb dealings in black money so a whole segment of speculative buyers who try to channel their ill-gotten wealth can get eliminated pushing up supply of houses to legitimate buyers.

Till any such major changes are made, buyers and house owners will continue to suffer from over priced housing, buildings of suspect quality, and helplessness because of a complete lack of options that guarantee good quality at a decent price. And I will continue to hope that speculations stating there will be a major correction in this market will come true!

Book Review - Chanakya’s new manifesto – To resolve the crisis within India - by Pavan K. Varma

Living room conversations revolve around politics, the state of decrepitude, ineptitude of politicians, and the general issues that assail our day-today life outside the confines of our homes and beset our country at large.

Pavan K. Varma, the author, has gone a few steps ahead of these idle conversations. In this book, he has pointed out key problems and provided meaningful solutions inspired from none other than Chanakya, one of our finest strategists to date.

The book starts with an introduction to Chanakya’s way of thinking going on to the crisis that currently prevails in India and finally detailing concerns and potential solutions for each area.  Whole books can be written of course, on each the mammoth issues that inundate Indian administration, but the author has tried to condense them and provide high-level suggestions that can ‘initiate an urgent and intense nationwide debate on change’.

The state of affairs have been highlighted for five areas in the book

• Governance
• Democracy
• Corruption
• Security
• The creation of an inclusive society

The book does not really talk about a lot of things we may not already realize, but brings things to perspective when all the issues and solutions are put together.

Each area first talks about key issues and then brings some potential solutions to the table based on theories from the Arthshastra, the great Indian treatise on statecraft. 

In Governance key focus areas are lack of economic reform, education, agriculture, infrastructure projects, railways and inflation. Several good suggestions are made such as having a lock-in period for coalition parties so no one can withdraw support and create instability, set up an independent evaluation body for governance, strengthen the president’s role in protecting jurisdiction and authority from interfering bodies.

Democracy was a particularly interesting topic that spoke about the criminalization of politics, the entrenchment of black money in our system and acceptance of dynastic politics. Excellent suggestions have been made in making the political parties more accountable for the finances they own by strengthening certain laws, having more stringent checks in the screening process for nominations for elections and measures to discourage political parties from fielding candidates with criminal backgrounds.

For the most widely talked about topic in India, - Corruption, the author has several suggestions. He suggests combating corruption using financial accountability of political parties, using technology, bringing in transparency in dealings and judicial reform for deterrent action.

Security articulated the importance of an effective foreign policy, defense preparedness and an intelligence gathering mechanism. The inclusive society topic brought to light the dark side of the uncaring and indifferent India that cannot be called progressive unless it includes everybody.

All in all, I must say for a lay person who has a rudimentary understanding of the Indian milieu, this was simple enough reading and much less taxing than I had imagined it to be. The issues were bang-on and are of prime importance for the progress of India.  Not being an expert on any of the topics, I can’t say if the solutions were perfect, but like the author has said, they may not be the best but could be worthy of being considered for a debate.  I can’t say what this book will really achieve either – if it will spark off any real interest in the powers that rule us, or will merely make a few readers blink at the atrocious state of affairs in some areas and grumble a little more or optimistically, bring about some real change by some genuinely concerned citizens/politicians.

The only grouse I had in the book was the fact that, although the areas were broadly structured into five, the subdivision of the topics in those areas would have made for easier reading instead of merely bulleting the solutions.  All it needed was some more headings subtopics for an easier flow.

The language used in the book is excellent and I have no complaints there.

I will highly recommend this book to people interested in politics and the governance of this country. For those who are not particularly deeply interested in politics, but have some interest in reading newspapers might find this book a good read too.

My verdict is 4/5 stars for this non-fiction book.

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com . Participate now to get free books!

About the Author

Pavan K. Varma studied history at St Stephen's College, Delhi, and took a degree in law from Delhi University. He has been press secretary to the president of India, official spokesman of the Foreign Office, director general of the Indian Council for Cultural Relations, and India's ambassador to Bhutan. Having taken premature retirement from the Indian Foreign Service, he now seeks to be actively involved in public life.

Pavan K. Varma has authored several acclaimed and bestselling books, among them, Ghalib: The Man, The Times; Krishna: The Playful Divine; The Great Indian Middle Class; Being Indian: The truth about why the 21st century will be India's; Becoming Indian: The Unfinished Revolution of Culture and Identity and When Loss is Gain. He has also translated into English the poetry of Gulzar, Kaifi Azmi and Atal Bihari Vajpayee.

Stop being a Road Terrorist

I am not a video game buff. But there is one game that I play every day. This game has innumerable challenges, obstacles, and a clock that keeps ticking before I reach my destination. The rules are puzzling because only I seem to follow them. Yes.  I drive a car in the Mad Mumbai traffic. All that this game says is players should be cognizant of the 3Ps (Potholes, Pedestrians, Pandus) and 3Bs (Bikers, Buses and Blaring horns). A word of caution - Understanding the 3Ps and Bs will make you adept at driving, but do not venture out without a health and life insurance since the Road Terrorists are out to get you!

1.       Potholes – ‘Road me gadda ya gadde me road, tu tension mat le, jaane de chod’ goes a guy on the radio as I rollercoaster my way up a hill where there is a pothole even on a speed breaker while going uphill. Why do they even take the trouble of building speedbreakers in India I wonder?   I tried complaining through various mediums, but everyone says the road doesn’t fall under their purview.

Politicians/Corporators with your tall manifestos – Either give us better healthcare facilities to cure breaking backs or repair those roads completely instead of ignoring or dumping on the road a thin superficial layer that only makes the road even more uneven than ever before!

2.       Pedestrians – The responsibility of ensuring road safety apparently lies solely with the motorists in India. In a country where motorists do not respect pedestrians, why should pedestrians respect motorists? If motorists do not stop at red signals for them to let them cross, of course, they will exact their revenge by starting to walk when it’s your green signal. Well actually, when pedestrians start crossing, it is a sign that the signal is green!  Pedestrians also usually walk in the middle of the road with earphones or mobiles in their ears and do not give a damn as your brakes squeal behind them after honking. Pedestrians are also so used to encroached footpaths that when presented with an un-encroached footpath, they shy away from it fearing it is cursed to walk on it and spill out on the road. 

Guys in your two and four wheelers - it is a good idea to let these poor guys cross the road when the signal is red. YOU BLIND MEN, please wait behind a certain real or imaginary white line that gives space and lets people cross safely at your red signal! And footpaths if not encroached are not for bikers to ride. On their part, Pedestrians will then cooperate by not jaywalking in the middle of the roads.

Encroached footpaths and people crossing over dividers

3.       Pandus or Police – They are the important guys of the road who everyone fears usually found near red signals. If there is a pandu as they are fondly called in Mumbai, then people wait at signals, and break fewer rules. These guys are usually a harried lot, standing in the scorching sun and pollution for long hours, haggling with errant drivers for petty bribes, turning a blind eye to BEST buses breaking rules or bikers who they know they cannot catch. I don’t really know whether to appreciate the hard work for their low pay or to blame them for what is happening on the streets of Mumbai.

I wish, they invoked enough fear in motorists to believe no bribe would work to enable them to get away and that errant drivers would be caught, reprimanded and penalized very heavily. It is also time we stopped taking these guys for granted and believing that we can get away by paying petty bribes.

4.       Bikers – A large chunk of this species believe they are as tiny as ants and can wiggle their way through any amount of traffic, climb on any footpath, have the right of way on both sides of the road, break major and minor signals at breakneck speed or block roads at signals in their egoistic fight to be at the very front of the line.

I ask, can’t these annoying errant bikers exhibit a mite of patience to stop clambering over pedestrians on footpaths and taking every plausible road on the wrong side if there is no pandu to catch them? 

Chaos!

5.       Blaring horns - ‘Honking is my birthright and I will honk it. Pippepiipii.’ This seems to be the motto of every motorist in India. As though honking makes traffic move. As though, signals turn green by honking, as though pedestrians pay any attention to it.  Everyone is in a tearing hurry to reach their destination. I don’t get how honking speeds things up!

Although extensive campaigns by traffic police can be seen at major junctions, why is the plea to stay calm so ignored? I cannot help but curse all the incessant honkers and hope they all go deaf one day. Can the government really not clamp down on the car and bike companies who provide such horns in the vehicle and make it prohibitively expensive to buy them from independent shops?  For drivers in AC cars, just because you cannot hear the honk loudly enough, does not mean that, it gives you a right to blow others’ ears off! I wish there were a reverse horn invented for cars and fixed mandatorily that would sound twice as loud inside when honked on the outside!

6.       Buses - Stay away from these unfriendly elements as far as possible. BEST Drivers are not only rash but they are also bullies. They will crush you unmindfully in their quest to get ahead of you or because they don’t like you. Buses will drive only in the middle of the road so you cannot overtake them. Keep a safe distance from them, as they screech to a stop right in the middle of the road to pick up passengers from the bus stop at the extreme left. If the bus stop is really far left, then beware of them swerving frequently to and from the rightmost lane and the leftmost lanes. The bus drivers derecognize Yellow and Red as colors and see only Green. These guys have no qualms, can rarely be apprehended and little that you can argue. They also honk incessantly. Stay Away from them.

What can be changed, is some training to these drivers and higher penalties/increased suspensions to stop them from flouting rules the way they do. I wonder if we citizens can call for a motion against them for irrational driving.

Well, there are a whole lot of other factors one needs to be mindful of, but this blog would be too long then. Big vehicles, Zigzagging autorickshaws, the stray kids who run amuck on the streets, dogs who refuse to move from the middle of the road till you are almost over them, mobile phone gabbers, preening women drivers and roadside squatters and peddlers. Red Lights did you ask? Well, those we see, but have never been mindful of them except when the Pandu is around. no? .  Oprah Winfrey on her visit to India, asked if Red Lights were for fun on Indian roads. Since we all value foreigners’ opinions so much, perhaps it is time to pay heed and see some wisdom in her words instead of only raving about her sari. When we finally do, that’s when I will include the Rs – Red Signals, Right Lanes and Road Sense in here.

Amber is the new Green!

The latest world-wide statistics released by International Road Federation (IRF) reveal that 1,19,860 people are killed in road accidents every year in India as reported by the Economic Times. DNA reports that the number of accidents in Mumbai is 23,440 in 2010 with 560 deaths. This is far higher than any terror attack we have had. I welcome any bill that brings on enhanced fines, stringent punishments and lesser tolerance of repeat offenders.  Till such a bill is passed, we need to bring about discipline. All that needs to be done is to be patient, stop trying to outrace others and respect the milling crowds and fellow motorists around. Stop being a road terrorist. Go on, follow rules, be the change and lead by example for safer roads.

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What's in a Name?

"What’s in a name?", an oft restated sentiment has acquired a whole new meaning when I recently changed my last name after some years of marriage.  The feeling is still sinking in. I am suddenly shocked by the revelation that I have gone from a Miss to Ms to a Mrs and it has suddenly made me feel several years older!

With my family hailing from the western part of Maharashtra- Vidarbha, my maiden name is KHOLKUTE pronounced as KHOL KOO TAY. Well, one would think I would be happy to shed that name! but no, it had to become SONPATKI, probably an equally difficult last name!

But now that it has been done and I see it in black and white in front of me, I ruminate, really, did I want to do this? A girl who has been carrying an identity all her life suddenly is forced to take on a new name, a new identity. Why does her existence have to be forever linked to a male in the family? Be it a father’s name as her middle name or the husband’s name.  And more complex is the fact, that world over, the last name is something that is mostly acquired from the father’s side although there are a few cultures which take it from the mother’s side or find a middle way such as taking both their names or even blending the names.

I wonder what it is that makes a woman change her name in societies where this is prevalent. It is the norm and the tradition which most of us blindly follow.  Pressure to follow what is accepted is another common reason.  There could be insecurity on the new family’s side which does not feel comfortable if the wife or the daughter-in-law still struts with her maiden name and is supposedly not integrated with the new family because she does not carry their name. Perhaps it is because the woman herself does not feel integrated enough till she changes her name to match the name of the majority she lives with! Some girls even change it to prove their love to their new husbands though I don’t see why her love could be any less or more even if she does not have the same name. Perhaps it is a little of all the above reasons that make a fairly well-reasoned person like (I would like to think) me, take the big leap.

In the days of the yore, when most women honestly didn’t have as much as an identity that they have today of their own, change wasn’t quite as difficult technically. Having a good education and multiple jobs, one is straddled with not just certificates and degrees with a different name, but also endless number of bank accounts, credit cards, identity cards such as a pan card, driving license, passport and a motley of investments and assets that require to be changed with a brand new signature. Besides the things that mandatorily require change, there is a whole virtual life out there which requires a new identity! Networks drive the world, social or otherwise and even though you painstakingly inform half of the million people you know, chances are they will most likely forget you or won’t find you ever again if you aren’t in touch.   A long arduous road it certainly is, but women do it. I am doing it and I am at a loss to understand why! It is with a foolish sentiment that I cling on to my old passport, pan card, bank cards, credit cards, identity cards, driving license and all the myriad things that are associated with a name. It is almost as though a different person had experienced so much in life!

Well, I do take consolation in the fact that my new name is atleast unlike many of the crazy Maharashtrian last names (to completely go off the topic). One would think a Maharashtrian colony were a forest with vegetable families coexisting amicably with animals in one neighborhood.  For example we had Bhende (Okra), Bhople (Pumpkin), Gawhare (French Beans), and Mule (radish) all in one colony alongside animal families such as Wagh (Lion), Landge (Wolf) and Aswale (Bears) and Undre (Mice).  Of course, an ecosystem would have its terrible elements such as Bhoot (Ghost), Aghore (the Terrible), the animal killers such as Waghmaare (Lion killer) and Aaglave (Fire setters).  Maharashtrians also come in all hues – Kale, Gore, Saavale are common place.  Amongst the other funny ones I have heard are Udyasangin (I will tell you tomorrow), Gapchup (Keep quiet), Gaitonde (one with a cowface), Paidhare (Hold legs) and Potdukhe (One with a stomach ache).

But that aside, I reckon, I will now learn to accept and live with my chosen new identity. After all, no one forced me to take it up. Perhaps change is good with a new phase in life. Perhaps it will be easier to not to have explanations of why I want to retain my maiden name.  Maybe, the new name will auger well for me! And it certainly will not break any ties with my parents of course or change who I am. It is time to ponder over the other famous nugget of wisdom – That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. I shouldn’t be moping so, should I?

Local Tourists at Maximum Mumbai

Busy days, late hours and horrid traffic left me and hubby SS exhausted on the Friday evening. Thus came many pleasurable and contented ways of spending our weekend. That of ‘relaxing at home’, ‘chilling out with a dvd’ and getting chores done.  Then a simple campaign by a leading newspaper happened asking us to switch off our teevees for a day. It sounds like a mighty marketing gimmick, but it honestly worked. We decided to finally get out of our contented monotonous chilling at home and explore what was closest to us – the city of Mumbai. What first came to our head was the symbol most popularly associated with Mumbai City - The Gateway of India and and decided to start with areas around it.

The Taj and the Gateway from the Sea

Colaba Causeway

It was walk down memory lane for me as I passed the legendary Regal theatre and the Alibaba Restaurant that was adjacent to an office where I once worked right after my engineering on the way to the Gateway. It was wonderful to walk on Colaba Causeway and hear the vendors speak expertly in English and French and still see them target only the white tourist population and ignore the brown skinned locals!  The array of gaudy necklaces, trinkets, scarves, marble and wooden showpieces that have not changed for a long time now continued to be there and continued to fascinate me. Only most of them were pretty pricey targeting a dollar audience dollars and not for local Indians!

The Taj Hotel

Right across the Gateway of India, The Taj has stood like a shining beacon of lovely architecture in Mumbai city and a balm to eyes tired of filth, peeling paint, slums and box like buildings with matchbox apartments. From the Gateway it looked grand as always and a testimony to what Mumbai has withstood, repaired though not healed. The luxury hotel has attracted distinguished visitors in Mumbai and it was always a pleasure to enter its luxurious, and rich interiors even if it was for just a cup of late night coffee or for a conference in one of its grand ballrooms.

Wah Taj!

The Gateway of India

Coming back to the Gateway of India, my earliest memories as a kid were walking right under the Gateway and buying puzzles, tricks and such paraphernalia from a thriving market of encroachments even back then.  Now, amidst security concerns, there is a large police barricade and siege with elaborate screening, constant security vigil and a heightened awareness although it was fortunately pervaded by much laughter and photographers asking couples to make various funny poses to hold the Taj and the Gateway.

The Gateway of India

The Gateway of India was built to commemorate the visit of King George V and Queen Mary to Bombay back in 1911, a 100 years back from the approaching March 11, 2011. The last of British troops to leave India also passed through the Gateway in 1948. In earlier times, the Gateway was the first glimpse of Bombay that visitors arriving by Bombay would get.  The architecture of the Gateway is Indo-Gothic representing the cosmopolitan culture of the city of Mumbai even today.

Elephanta Caves and the Ferry ride

Our next destination was the famous Elephanta caves, which are on an island across Bombay, reachable by a ferry ride in the sea from the Gateway. It is funny how most locals including us have never seen these caves despite residing in Mumbai for so many years. It never helped that that those who had visited only disparaged the place saying there were just a few broken idols and little else to see. Well, but look at it this way, it really is fun to be a tourist in your own city and see things from a new perspective, understand history and see where the roots of your city indeed lie. The Gateway is one part of understanding the city, the Taj another and the Elephanta caves set in an era long bygone adding yet another dimension to this huge city.

Cruising in the Arabian Sea on an hour long ferry ride, fanned by a cool zephyr, watching the Mumbai skyline recede and trying to make out major landmarks in the city all added to our really touristy experience.

We reached the Elephanta Island by boat and clambered on a toy train which really ran the distance of a 5 minute walk but was again, a part of the experience! We then had piping hot tea from the ubiquitous tea stalls and then proceeded to clamber the many steps up the hill that led to the caves. As usual, the entrance all along the steps was lined by a huge market of souvenirs that sold everything that can be found at any souvenir market in India I suppose. We saw rows and rows of endless ‘handicrafts’ that we had bought foolishly in Rajasthan at high prices  as something unique and refused to buy more ‘unique items’.

Toy Train to Elephanta Caves

We finally reached the caves and found a guide (unauthorized guy since there were no official guides!) to tell us the history of the place instead of us looking blankly at the statues. We learned that the Elephanta Island as it was now known is known originally and referred to by locals as the Gharapuri Island which means literally island of caves. The island consists of Hindu and Buddhist caves with the Hindu caves depicting tales from the life of Shiva.

The Portuguese called the island Elephanta on seeing its huge gigantic statue of an Elephant at the entrance. The Statue is now placed in the garden outside the Jijamata Udyan at Byculla in Mumbai. This cave was renovated in the 1970s after years of neglect, and was designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1987 to preserve the artwork and is currently maintained by the Archaeological Survey of India. If the Portuguese used the sculptures for target practice blowing them up for most part, Indian ruffians scribbled and carved their names and declared undying love to their beloveds and desecrated the statues. ASI has done a good job however in cleaning up a majority of these names, though on close scrutiny, one can still make out English letters in the haze.

The guide told us several interesting stories about the sculptures most of which could be confirmed by the guidebook or Wikipedia. The ones I liked are Ravan lifting Shiva and Parvati on Mount Kailash, Wedding of Shiva, Shiva slaying a demon named Andhaka, and the most famous one, the Trimurti. The Trimurti is a 20 ft rock sculpture that depicts a three headed Shiva manifesting creation, preservation and destruction and thus the three important deities Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva respectively.

The Trimurti Idol

It took us around 2 hours to go around the entire place, take photos and listen to stories besides indulging in chai, and look at knick-knacks in the souvenir market. The ferry service starts early in the morning and continues till around 5:00 pm in the evening in winters. I suppose this time gets extended in summers.

The ride back thrilled us again as sea gulls swept up and down, and in circles with their cries over the lapping waters. We disembarked at the Gateway and headed back into the chaos of the city. With a few hours left to kill on that perfect weekend, we ate pav bhaji at one of the tiny restaurants at Colaba Causeway, ate a really yummy looking pan and watched the Bollywood movie ‘Agneepath’ at the historic Regal theater.

I would definitely recommend this trip to anyone who wants to become a tourist at Mumbai. Go Out Mumbaikars and take that ferry ride!

A Glorious Sunset

More pictures on my Facebook site – http://www.facebook.com/richlandtalk

Fatwa Fever

The Fatwa fever is on in India! Maybe that word should be a permanent Oxford dictionary addition if it already isn’t.  

Kapil Sibal tried to put one on Social networking. It triggered more twittering and dis’liking’ and sniggers from the social media community. Anna came along and is still trying to put a fatwa on corruption and alcohol. Madhya Pradesh has reined in beef-eaters while even the glorious Sun has not been spared by fatwaing the Surya Namaskar. The biggest joke of all is the ban on showing the pink elephants and statues at Uttar Pradesh. Amidst the new, how can old one’s be forgotten – Muslim clerics are already up in arms against Salman Rushdie stepping into India for a popular literature fest. A few more fatwas that should be issued soon by various Hindu, Muslim, Brahmins, SC/STs, govt. etc.-

• If Maya’s elephants can’t wave their trunks, people are here forth barred from waving for anything, riding bicycles and using sickles to harvest their crops.
• A fatwa should be issued on fat and unfit Abhishek Bacchhan from dancing (and being in movies) and a fatwa on Sonam Kapoor and Imran Khan on acting.
• Citizens and tourists should not be allowed to eat anything but boiled vegetables so as to not hurt the religious sentiments of other communities including Jains and imprisonment for those who dare eat beef/chicken/pork or anything else not in the list of allowed eatables.
• There should be a fatwa on traffic policemen who aren’t of any use anyway on Mumbai roads.
• A fatwa should be put on pedestrians who try walking on footpaths annoying squatting hawkers and bikers who drive on them if there are no hawkers.  
• A covert ban on Tendulkar making his century would ensure TRPs and advertisers getting their due
• FDI fatwa continues and the movie association should follow suit and issue a fatwa on Hollywood to protect the interest of the wonderful Bollywood movies such as Rascals, Don2 and Ra One getting neglected despite their ‘wonderful’ stories.
• A fatwa on all of all of yoga (not just the surya namaskar), pilates, kickboxing, for religious reasons, no-westernization reasons etc will be great so I have a convenient excuse to stop exercising.
• A fatwa on Brahmins and higher castes to reproduce given that future increasing reservations will ensure they die of malnutrition anyway or they will go abroad
• Thanks to Sibal, a fatwa on social networking in office will let me be more productive and go home early!
• I wonder if a fatwa on the Rupee will rein in exchange rates at their current levels and if a fatwa can be issued on rising petrol prices
• Last but not the least, after we exhaust all the fatwas, could we please have a fatwa against passing more fatwas and end this fatwaing?

Courtesy - Google Images

The democracy which India is supposed to be is now a fatwacrazy. It is insane that if a girl is molested, she is the one blamed for it since she was wearing a sleeveless shirt and not the lecherous man who did it. A motorist almost runs over a pedestrian and shouts at him for being in the way when he is breaking a signal. Unless power hungry politicians, moralistic clerics and wrong populist measures are reined in, the one thing – freedom - we prided ourselves on and thought we are better at than China will also cease to exist and leave little hope in a country desperate to shine.

The Dirty City

‘Clean Mumbai! Green Mumbai! Beautiful Mumbai’ – These few phrases are a rude bundle of crap from BMC and all the politicians who have made the Shanghaification of Mumbai a colossal joke.

Apart from the many popular polluting elements of air, water, sound that afflict Mumbai, one which is less talked about but one of the most rampant forms is ‘Visual Pollution’. 

Huge ugly looking vinyl hoardings with ugly politicians with creepy smiles grouped with sycophants dot every road and square.  Those very smiling goons bash up sincere lads who go to remove the illegal cost-free advertising hoardings and threaten BMC workers who order them removed.  Bah! to think, multinationals shell out money to pay for the almost as ugly OOH (out of home) advertising.

 

The airport road was once upon a time supposed to be ‘beautified’ to avoid foreign visitors from getting headaches from all the ugliness that hits them suddenly.  After seeing a sea of blue, which is not the Arabian sea, visitors and Mumbaiites come out in the open in grubby taxis, to see people peeing, squatting, shitting on roads, picking lice on their heads etc. If that were not enough to make them want to turn back, they get to see the unavoidable unseemly sight of people spitting usually that revolting red muck every five seconds on pockmarked roads.

The ugliness continues on the unpainted roads with construction rubble lying everywhere –on the sides, below flyovers, on the unpainted dividers, with dried up and dead ‘beautifying trees’. No lane markings are present on any roads, and the dividers broken wherever convenient for motorists to make illegal passes and turns. New flyovers had come up were supposed to be gleaming and shiny new structures.  Then I saw these weird metal contrapments, probably cellphone towers all along the flyovers.  God! More ugliness! Talking of unpainted, rows and rows of dilapidated buildings with peeling dirty paint look on with shanties at their bases all along every large road in Mumbai and in smaller bylanes.

‘Clean up!’ dirty green Garbage trucks of BMC freely ride the roads at all times of the day and one sees a ‘Mera Bharat Mahaan’ painted on some unsightly broken granite obstruction in the middle of the road. The whole city is a dustbin for one and all where people litter as they please, where they stand, leaving their legacy behind for someone to clean up after them. Shopkeepers dust their shops driving the garbage to the middle of the road onto unsuspecting pedestrians.  A pile of garbage that should not be where it is, collects for days together.  Numerous flea ridden dogs and scraggly cats are seen loitering near these dumps or the middle of roads. 

One would escape the ugliness that abounds this city once one was home; I would have liked to believe, but there, as I enter, dirty shoes of all the family haphazardly kept by my building people greet me on the staircase. Across the window, in the opposite building, I am forced to look at my neighbours’ chaddis, banians and bras hanging out of their living room windows to dry.

Call me intolerant or just a foreign returned NRI even if it was for a really short while, or call me snooty, a snob, or whatever, but could we PLEASE stop exhibiting all our clothes to our neighbours, and stop littering alteast!?

And to think, people call this morbid place a beautiful city. Mere wishful thinking probably where we refer to the ‘indomitable’spirit and resilience of Mumbaiites as beauty. I wish we stopped talking about beauty like that in the Miss Worlds where they unnecessarily discuss ‘inner beauty’ on mugged up answers. I am done with the inner beauty, I want to see some physical beauty in this city! It is nice to sit on to Marine drive and stare out into the sea out of Mumbai.  Staring out of Mumbai makes it beautiful you see.  The city is a damn dump.  Can anyone at all do anything to reduce disgusting habits, really clean up and to make this city less of an eyesore than it can be helped? I love this city despite its short-comings and heaven knows why I want to return always to it and I always did, but indeed, it is being abused way beyond its tolerance limits. One day, it will exact its terrible revenge from the denizens of Mumbai unless something were done about it.